Me, myself, and I.

I am the most self-centered, self serving, selfish person I know. I would like to think that I am a helpful person but I am not. I would like to think that I do things for the good of others but I do not. I would very much like to live my life for other people but I cannot.

Bryan Adams sings "Everything I do, I do it for you".

But everything I do, I do it for myself. There is no doubt about it. If I am honest enough, if I look into myself deep enough, all my behaviour, every one of my action, each of my motivation, everything boils down to me, Me, ME.

ME.

Everytime I set out to do something, I only do it for myself. When I do something to help others, it is also for my self-centered agenda. I help others out of my own convenience, I help others so that next time they will help me back, I help others so that they will like me. I do all the things that I do to gain satisfaction, recognition and reputation. For myself and only myself.

I have not done anything good for anybody. Even if I did, it was a by-product of my self-serving motives. I wish people good day so that they will wish me back. I sms-ed people to ask how they are, so that they can reply and ask me how I am. I call people up so that they will talk to me.

I go all out to help people so that they will buy me lunch... or dinner. (depending on the time of the day.)

To all the people who think that I am a nice guy, I am sorry to say that you are gravely mistaken. I am nothing more than a self-centered bastard, who does things only to please myself.

I live in the pits of my selfish nature, hiding in darkness, shunning from the Light.

God help me. (notice the “me” again)
:-:
which is kinda true. i AM a self-centered, self serving, and selfish person.

i help people, knowing that one day i will need their help too. although i don't go all out to help people so that they'll buy me meals, i don't deny that i help them so that when one day, i'm in some predicament, someone will come along and help me too.

a "by-product of my self-serving motives". definitely. haha. i guess it's just that i was never really honest enough to myself.

oh, and i didn't write that. although i know the author. it's just pretty interesting to share, i guess. in fact, i liked his writing so much i read three year's worth in one sitting.
:-:
speaking about reading, i have actually liked reading since a very young age. enid blyton, the famous five and secret seven series, the hardy boys, and nancy drew when i was pretty young. then i grew up to like roald dahl's book, and have read almost all of the books he read. the one that left the deepest impression was "Boy" and "Going Solo", both of which are sorta documentaries of his life.

and i guess i seldom shun away from a good read. but books nowadays are seemingly boring the hell out of me. i can read endlessly from blogs, articles online, soccernet. but if the subject doesn't appeal to me, no way would i read it past the 2nd page.

and as much as i like reading, i like writing as well. i guess language is a form of expressing yourself. but i think i suck at writing. there are like millions of people out there who can write better than me. i guess that is why my writing is so uninspired compared to so many others. haha.

i think i need sleep. yet another day tomorrow..

Stardust.

are we human, because we gaze at stars, or do we gaze at stars, because we are human?

this movie is so good, everyone and anyone should catch it. the jokes in there are some LOL stuff. and all the unexpected twists in the story is definitely keeping yu hooked on it. although they say the book was alot better. guess i'm off to the library!


Stardust: Rule The World - Take That!
and the soundtrack to the movie is damn beautiful. the song "Rule The World" by "Take That" is damn nice also. someone please send it to me if they have it, thanks.

pretty uneventful two days. good news is that i'm slowly recovering from whatever virus that got me. the medicine worked. heh.

a rushed dinner at ichiban sushi, before catching stardust on saturday. that's about all of my weekend activities. wanted to head out for a run. but noooooo. it had to threaten to rain. well, but it didn't.

coming week is gonna be quite packed again i think. monthly report. another range coming up on friday. november is comingggg.

)=

yes, i'm still sick. albeit a little better. because i took some medicine after some much nagging. haha.

today's range was pretty hellish. all i ate from 8am till now is one packet of choc milk, one da bao, two siew mais, and three cans of liangteh. haha. and strangely i don't feel that hungry.

i talked alot today.. i think i repeated the words "chamber two clear, all clear" and "chamber two ready, all ready" at least 80 times today. don't forget the "tango tango" and "control, that is a roger". i almost died.

range ended at eleven plus. could have ended earlier, until we found some idiot with one live round. had to re-search the entire company again. snoRE.

and i'm so tired i'm probably not going for the range tomorrow. hurray to gosu superiorssuperior(only one).

and can someone enlighten me WHEN I TOOK THIS! i where got so act cute one. yu all go photoshop is it.

i think i wished it was yu, and i kinda waited..

haha. it's not getting better. sian. what a day to get sick.

some hiao.

lately i've been buying some random stuff on impulse.

got some blackhead minimiser thingy, which set me up on yet another chore everyday. gotta put on the nose and peel it off. i quite like the peeling off part. lawl.

and then i bought some eye stress gel. mainly to "diminish lines and puffiness around eyes". i also dunno why i buy. but i think my eyes look damn ugly due to lack of sleep.

so everyday i got more stuff to put on my face. more than i ever did for the past twenty one years. haha.

anyway, anyone knows whether having a hot shower or cold shower is better when yu're down with flu? because i feel hot and i just took a cold one. but then isn't it supposed to be 以毒攻毒, so i have to take hot showers?

oh, the irony.

i need to sweat it out. long time since i last went running. lazyyy.

sick boy.

hi. i'm sick.

some flu thanks. weather nowadays is gay. rain, then shine, then drizzle, then windy, then i dunno what already.

why like that.

thank you, thank you.

thanks everyone for turning up yesterday!

and i loved all your gifts. haha. don't anyhow say i give a very fake expression when i got the watch okay. i liked it. heh.

anyway the room was damn nice. but a picture's worth a thousand words. so imma save myself some strength typing a thousand words, and post the pictures up when they're here.

i'm pretty busy lately, playing Tales of the World: Radiant Mythology. lol. and i'm gonna be busier because i've already got another game: Jeanne D'Arc, waiting for me to complete TotW:RM. so, lack of updates! but very little people read this space anyway. heh.

thanks, again!

Take a deep breathe.

hAhAHAHHAhHAhHAhHA hAAH AH AHHAaHAHA hAHA AH A AH a HA HA HaHhahAHhaHA AhAaH AHahHAH Ah AhAh HA AHAHAHAHa haH aHAHAHAHa HAAH AH HAh A hH ah AH HAh AhAh Ahaah AH AHHAHAhhAHHAHAaHhAAaaaaaaAHah haah Hah ah aahaahhHA AaHAHaHAHHAAHhAhAAhAhAHAhAHAhAHHA

jokes.

i typed a whole chunk of rubbish that i think is pretty redundant. what i feel remains in me, thanks.

i just want to be a happy boy, thanks.

hahahahaha btw sam there's something wrong with the 'pink ipod' i was telling yu about. ahahahahaha it's so funny i'm sure yu'll like fall off your chair.

click for article.

so sleepy. yawnn.

weekends are coming!

:-:
good morning! off days are happy days. (=

click for wedding blog.
haha. this blog is damn sweet. i've been reading barneysaurus for some time already, because i usually have nothing better to do think it is pretty interesting..

so for those with ten minutes to spare, and already looking into getting married, just take a look. the posts on their first date is so "awwww" material.

tireddd.

i don't even know why i care so much anymore.

sometimes i don't even look beyond "i'm sorry i can't make it cos.."
and it doesn't even matter how many years ago i've asked yu out from.

now i know how vexing it is, and how it takes two hands to clap.

think happy thoughts.

zack's birthday was a blast. but i'm probably too tired to enjoy it too much. i think i fell asleep for two hours. plush is a pretty nice place tho.

please don't ever ask me to club anymore. thanks.

this entry makes me feel a whole lot better already.

Leaving on a jet plane~

this song is damn beautiful. i can't stop listening to it the entire DAYYYYYyyy.

i want to learn to play the piano so i can learn and play beautiful pieces and then everyone will fall in love with me. whahaha.

been a pretty turbulent week. and it's STILL ONLY WEDNESDAY.

so kiss me, and smile for me~
tell me that yu'll wait for meee~
hold me like yu'll never let me goo~

:-:
peee: yeah la. then yu still whole day offline. TALK TO MEEEeeeee.
sam: haha. yu also! all the best to your exams! quick finish it and come backkkkkk.

i think i've gotten quite used to this..

Only yu can set me freeee~

retro stuff!

hahahaha. reminisce of mambo nights?

anyway i had a damn weird dream just now when i slept.

it started out with three caucasians walking along in the airport(OUR airport). they were like all smartly dressed and stuff. then suddenly i dunno what happened but all three of them began to be on high alert. then they took these mini gun-like stuff that resembles mini-super-soakers and starting aiming them at random stuff, as if someone or something was coming to get them.

fast forward, and next thing i knew the three of them were in this huge room with many OAs(an OA is some SAF computer which is logged onto the intranet, for doing work related stuff). but instead of everyone else doing work(which is pretty much all one can do on a OA), they were all playing GAMES. like in a lanshop.

upon closer inspection, they were playing a game that looks like starcraft. with all the status screen and stuff. but instead of zergs or terrans or protons on the main screen it was like contra, and each of them was controlling this weirdass guy and walking around killing stuff. and their characters were holding the exact weird guns that they were holding when they were in the airport!

and then i woke up.

ahahaha i think i'm going crazy.

IPod.

i borrowed an ipod with 3758 songs in it. it's damn fun to play with it. haha.

it's like a random radio without all the irritating random banter. just songs. i'm currently at song 359 after a whole of listening to, last night.

haha. cheap thrill.

my laptop sound spoil..

sian..

i feel downnnn.

october is not treating me any good. thanks.

Why women should not join the army..

"unfortunately, in the army, things don't work that way.."

some LOL.

"UNGLAM!"
"i think guys don't have to worry about landing glamly"

err. moment of truth, girls. guys don't HAVE to land glamly. they learn to land with their feet, not on their asses.

a half-assed fullpack that's not even 20% of a normal one. no rifle, no helmet, no sbo. FOUR obstacles instead of the usual ELEVEN. no 700m rundown, or 600m run to end point. still, it was still pretty funny to watch those girls do stuff that are our army fellas' bread and butter for two years.

zz.

today is some time fly stuff.

i can't believe i overslept even when i'm in camp. lol. didn't get up till like 0830. and to think i even slept at about 2300 the night before. >.<

i need a new alarm clock.

and a new water bottle. because i lost mine and i don't seem to drink much water without my water bottle. sigh. so old already still can lose water bottle. stupid.

speaking about not drinking much water, i realise i haven't been eating much in camp too. i'd probably do well with two meals a day. one breakfast, and one probably late at night. or if i go home, dinner at home. i think i'm just lazy to go and get food. and cookhouse food is never to my liking. i mean, who ever likes cookhouse food. i don't abhor them, but if given a choice, i'd be less likely to step into the cookhouse..

and my weight dropped, i dunno, 4kg? last i weighed at dawn's place i guess.

moving moving! i'd probably be $100~$150 poorer every month for household expenses. so being 21 has it's responsibilities and stuff like that too, huh. looks like i'm not really enjoying this "coming of age". haha. it's well within my budget. but seeing how i've been spending these past two months, i've been pretty disappointed. sometimes yu just get carried away spending too much. sigh. RESTRAINT, thanks.

when is pay day cominggggggg?