babies.

i think babies are a joy to the world.

of course, when i say babies, i mean newborn to 2 year old toddlers. anything older than that is deemed a menace and a disaster.

on the train home today, there were two babies on board the same cabin as i am. miraculously, their presence seem to lift the spirits of most people in the cabin. them innocent little beings, their cute chubby face. strangers winked at them, hoping to widen their smiles. even i smiled when one of the twins stared at me with his big eyes. i overheard a girl nearby exclaim: "so cuteeeeeeeee".

just then, i remembered a conversation between J and me.

------
W liked cute babies and children. Alot. Everytime she passed by a toddler who looked so chubby and innocent, she'd pat him on the head and grin. She never hesitated to stretch out her fingers to the faces of babies in the arms of their parents.

And this was what happened. J and W were having dinner at Pastamania. Just in front of them at the queue was this couple and their newborn. The father looked absolutely "Ah Beng", or an ex one. No one has tattoos all over his left forearm for no apparent reason. The mother looked kinda "Ah Lian" as well, even though she only has one tattoo on her back. The baby, of course, didn't have any tattoos.

Queuing up behind them, W noticed the cute lil infant. Thus, she stretched out her index finger and used the back of it to touch his face. The infant giggled and W grinned. It was such a genuine smile. J could never forget that smile.

The father, noticing J's and W's interest in the little one, offered to let J carry him. So he did, and W had a fun few minutes toying with him. For that few minutes, they were oblivious to the happenings around them. J thinks this is the magical power of the baby. J thinks the baby is a wizard to be.
-----

i think J misses W alot. i have no doubt that J and W would be delighted if they were in the same MRT cabin as me; the twins were really adorable. however, i think that it is a matter of the past and that J should move on.

my english is teh noob

Advanced You scored 92% Beginner, 92% Intermediate, 86% Advanced, and 53% Expert!

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Link: The Commonly Confused Words Test written by shortredhead78

omg. my engrish si not powderfool at all. sigh.

no topic

some random blogging.

stuff worth looking forward to:
kbox.
malaysia shopping.
no money work for a week.

sigh.

friends.

some are so fake, you wonder if you knew them at all.
some are so fickle, you wonder what happened to all the "forever friends" rubbish spouted.

storytelling time;
-----
J has known S for five years. S was a very nice girl, and their friendship grew stronger when they used to study together for exams. S would share her experiences with J often; whatever she did the day, how things went, she used to chat with him about everything under the sun. But still, they remained very good friends, not anything more. I guess that's what you call a platonic relationship. Or you can call J an intellectual whore. Whatever.

S had a very good friend, P. She knew her for years; they claimed each other as husband and wife, you get the idea.

Through S, J got to know P. (i'm giving the story away, so to those who know: good for you.) Although J did not know P as well, they are very good friends now. And somehow, the relationship between S and J deteriorated. J thinks it has something to do with a religion, but it sounded thoroughly ridiculous.

And miraculously(no puns intended, religion wise), S and P grew farther apart as well, despite years spent together. It didn't help that they had new 'best friends', A and N. J thinks it has something to do with religion again, and it sounds more ridiculous than ever.

Fast forward. Today, J saw S. And J had no doubt that S saw him too. However, both chose to hang their heads low and stare at the ground, while walking briskly past each other, shoulder brushing. J thinks it is better for S to approach J, since J thinks it would be awkward. Perhaps, S thought the same?

In case P and A are reading, here's a little detail. S was with someone ugly. And if J says that someone is ugly, he is definitely ugly. Although J says that everyone is ugly, you can tell at times that he is joking.
-----

nice story right? i still think that it is very ridifuckingculous. oh well.

i'm just blogging this for J, and he has a message he wants to pass to S, in case S reads this rubbish here. J still thinks S and him can be good friends. however, it is gonna be kinda hard. J thinks that the memories he spent with S was very nice, and hope that they could meet up, have dinner, chat about the old times like ah peks in coffeeshops, minus the religion rubbish.

i'm just the messenger for J you know. and J didn't mean to sound too profane. please do not flame J for being non-religious. there are just some things in life that you see no point in doing.

who needs problems with love relationships with 'friends' like these?

this is a sad world.

tired fuck.

i am some tired fuck.

blog when i have the mood/energy/feeling/inspiration/money/insert adjective here.

sigh.

xin sui le cai dong. control c + control v. hahaha.

i got minishorts

Congratulations Jason, you are...

minishorts of minishorts.net

You are outgoing, direct, smart, pretty, and a definite go-getter. You are frank, a little too frank perhaps that sometimes you get on people's nerves and make them very upset. If people attack you, you hit back with triple the force without blinking because you are the kind of person who knows exactly what you are talking about or else you wouldn't talk about it. Your quick-thinking is what makes you special. You are an elitist.

Which Malaysian Blogger Are You?

twice i did the survey, number one being singapore's edition, and now the malaysia one. twice i got chiobus. with the first not as chio as the second. haha. i had to say it. i never really admired xiaxue's looks. and since minishorts face is half concealed, it definitely looks better.

sigh. woke up late again. supposed to go to school for napfa shyt. but i realised that it was later in the evening.. meet mentor in the morning. heng i never go anyway.. went to cw's place today. gym. and tennis. takes my mind off things at least..

no one wants to go out with me mah. so i have to shamelessly show up at his house uninvited. )=

sigh. have to go to school tomorrow morning. hope i'm not too late..

im hooked on lin jun jie's jiang nan. sigh. its a beautiful song. watched project superstar, and weijian junyang(wtf) sang it beautifully too. <3s.

sigh. im some confused.

why eat when you're full? why drink when you're not thirsty? why sleep when you're not tired?

why love when you're unloved?

to a certain extent, i think i have 'kan kai le'. then again, i still 'xiang tai duo'. some sad stuff.

paralysis

i'll walk until my feet are bleeding

omg. keeps resounding in my head. <3s funeral for a friend.

looking forward to calvin's return this weekend, going to malaysia (if possible) next weekend.

and yuuu.. the uncertainty.

blogging for the sake of blogging.

bubblemunche

i don't know if you guys have been reading bubblemunche's blog previously, but it had been closed down for two months or so.

bored in school, i blog-surfed. and then i found his new site.

i like his style of writing. very similar to cheeky. and, somehow you feel a kind of relief when someone feels the same as you do, and you 'feel for him'.

not knowing how to link his post over from his site, therefore i quote:


----------
"The one about A Lesson From Eons Ago

If a girl likes a guy, she just do. There's no need for any reason or explanation. But when a girl doesn't like a guy, she will never like him. No matter what he does. I learnt that lesson the hard way seven years back. Historians are not kidding when they say history has a nasty habit of repeating itself.

I should have known.

Cheers, Hisreason"
----------


i read. and i realised:

i've learnt it before. once. a good few years ago.

and i forgot.

do i learn it all over again?

do i have to? i don't want to.

haha. denial. its sad.

its 1:50pm and i haven't had my lunch. sigh.

445am in the morning..

its 4:45am in the morning. ><
not intending to sleep.. was doing mass work shyt.. sigh.

changed the template a lil. was surfing a designer t-shirt website when i stumbled on that design. its called "flowers in the attic". kewl stuff. used it as my template. heh. check it out.

sigh. go to school early in the morning. mass shyt to do..

waking up

and will this never end..
i'm tyred of all this walking..
and if this never ends..
i'll walk until my feet are bleeding.

waking up in my own paralysis..

i just realised, i can't wait to get into ns.

there are so many things to do, and i have stuffs hindering me. like the fucking ihp which i see no sense in.

went to the library after work today, weisheng helped me with the rfid card reader. its working now, but i need vb 6.0. like wtf. gotta go school install. that will have to wait for tuesday. weisheng's internship fucking shiok la. go mediacorp radio and shake leg. earn money. and wtf am i doing? nothing.

i don't see how making a card reader work is so 'important'. i don't see a point at all, but all i know is that since i've chosen this diploma, i will get it. whatever fuck they ask me to do, all in the name of the diploma, i will do it.

still thinking whether to go to malaysia tomorrow. i need new headphones. i need to get a present for my sister, and some friends whose birthdays i've missed. it helps to have extra rm in the wallet. heck. it helps to have extra cash ANYWHERE.

i used to believe that money is not everything; money is not happiness. but now i'm more tempted to think otherwise. money is not happiness, but money sure can BUY some happiness.

i sure ain't that happy now; i could use a little money.

sigh. some tyred. go to sleep time.

sing like you think no one's listening..
sing me something soft,
sad and delicate;
loud and out of key;
sing me anything..

you would kill for this..
just a little bit.. just a little bit..
you would...

snowbirds and townies..

this winter is lasting forever..
at least for tonight..
and i know that you're never leaving..
until your flight.
takes you off..
and out of my arms..
and into the air..
so far from your charms..
that i cannot bear..
another year..
in this long forgotten beach town..
we once shared.

i miss yu* )=

self discipline.

fuck. i need self-discipline. and i need it fast.

so many things left unsaid; so many things left undone.

fuck it.

polyclinic.

today, i made a visit to the woodlands polyclinic. something that i hadn't done for the past eighteen years in my life. yes. it was my first visit there.

not that i hadn't visited any(i did, and it was the toapayoh one), but i simply can't seem to remember anything about it. i should be too young then, or too old now..

anyway, i set off for the clinic at three twenty or so. it was at marsiling, i was at admiralty. it should take less than ten minutes for me to take a train over, as it was only two stops away.

however, it was not to be(just like many things in life).

i only reached the place at four ten.

a picture is worth a thousand word, so says michael lim of sas(year 2000).


now there shouldn't be any complains that this blog lacks visuals..




that was the route i took to the polyclinic from marsiling mrt station. some smart i am.

anyway, i got to my destination, and that was all that matters. little did i know that i spent a whopping two hours at the clinic. leaving only at six or thereabouts. and my meeting with the general practitioner lasted only FIVE MINUTES at the most.

since i moved to woodlands/admiralty five years ago, i have always been to a private clinic whenever i was ill. not that i would become ill every other day; perhaps once or twice a year. i visualised the general practitioner at the polyclinic to ask me questions like: "What colour was your phlegm when you were spitting it out?", and such. but NO. all he asked was three very simple questions, proceeding to repeat it once or twice, as if he expects very different answers, throughout the entire five minutes.

"Any drug allergies?"

"So, what are you here for?"

"How long has this illness lasted?"

after which he put his stethoscope on my back and chest, listened to it for a moment, and scribbled stuff on a paper. he then handed me that piece of paper and told me to go to the pharmacy and collect my drugs. talk about efficiency man.

i queued up at the pharmacy, only to acquire a chit ala mel service centre. it says 8561. i looked up, the board says 8518. not that i did not expect vast difference in number; the pharmacy was packed. in fact, it was so packed, there were people outside pacing up and down, snatching a glance at the electronic board, their chit, and then continued pacing up and down.

by the time i got home, it was six thirty in the evening(no i did not follow the same route i took to the polyclinic to get home).

now, i have three different kinds of medicine to consume, and a nasal spray.

the worse thing was the label on my cough syrup.

"May cause drowsiness. Caution if driving."
"Warning: Avoid alcoholic drinks."

sigh. )))=

can you hear me..
are you near me..
can we pretend to leave and then..
we'll meet again..

beautiful

this glass house is burning down..
you light the match, i'm still around..
i'd give you everything you want..
and wish the worst of what i was..

beautiful. <3s taking back sunday.

seems like my previous post had quite a few of you doing it. thanks to kennysia for coming up with the quiz. you know altho we(referring to np ictians) are studying IT courses.. chances of us knowing how to write a programme like that is pretty low?

so there i was shitting bathing, and feeling bored. and i realised: why not start a meme? as ridiculous as it sounds, it should be pretty fun you know? anyway, in case you do not know what a meme is, click here.

so, why not start with something that has already gone ten times around the blogosphere?

-------------------------------------------------------

The Musical Baton Meme.
(now, here's a disclaimer. no one has ever pointed that meme to me, or any other meme. this kinda shows what kinda sad fuck i am with no friends. haha! i'm kidding. i'm simply starting it anew and see how it goes. i'm not forcing everyone i'm pointing the meme at to continue it, but its all in fun's sake. some long disclaimer this is)

Total volume of music files on my computer:
1.14gb. 195titles. 5:09:31 of nonstop moaning music.

The last CD I bought was:
i seriously cannot remember. although i can tell you that the first CD i bought was N Sync's No Strings Attached. i still have it!

Five songs I listen to a lot, or that mean a lot to me:
(i'll even throw in my favourite verse in the song!)
1. Guang Liang - Tong Hua
yes, i am not a cheena person. but this song kinda means alot to me. not only 3do.. not only variety show..
wo yuan bian cheng, tong hua li, ni ai de na ge tian shi..

2. Taking Back Sunday - Slowdance On The Inside
its THE song for this moment. <3s. enough said. want the song? msn is thankssss.
this glass house is burning down.. you light the match.. i'm still around..

3. Straylight Run - Mistakes We Knew We Were Making
this is some old song. dating back to 2003. and guess what? two of their members were from taking back sunday. nonetheless good.
we'll get over it, sad strong safe and sober.
we'll move forward and know where we went wrong..

4. Funeral For A Friend - Streetcar
from their new album, Hours. i like the tempo of this song, the lyrics, the everything. i am downloading their leaked album now.
sitting halfway.. away from nowhere..
praying for our lips to touch.

5. Senses Fail - Bloody Romance
i used to like this song. alot. it kinda meant alot to me. anyone has this song, send please! thanksss.
you.. and me. like one heartbeat.
so slice open my veins, and let the romance bleed away.

The only song I listen to EVERYDAY is:
for now, Funeral For A Friend - Streetcar.

Five people whom I'm going to pass the meme on to:
liyi the air-headed pig.
dawn the book who wants to be read.
cindy the floor washer.
zhebin the god-send, the superstar.
vincent the gay.(i couldn't find a more suitable word besides gay and homosexual.)

-------------------------------------------------------

have fun! yumm. some long post.

xiaxue!?

Congratulations Jason, you are...

'Xia Xue' Wendy Cheng of xiaxue.blogspot.com

You are a goddess/god. You've got the looks, the brains and the body. You have such an irreverent sense of humour, people listen to you religiously and worship the ground you walk on. On the other hand you can also be straightforward, blunt and very very controversial. That has the potential to offend many people, but of course you don't care, you just shoot. In the end, people either love you or hate you. Nothing in between.

Which Singaporean Blogger Are You?

oh. my. god. xiaxue!

but i'll forgive kennysia because i am a god. gods should be all forgiving, right?

please listen to all my bullshit religiously and worship the ground i walk on. some thanks.

i somemore go and edit the blardie template so that you can see xiaxue without having to scroll left and right. good right?

[01:49] pprrffnnn: physically fit
[01:49] pprrffnnn: physically fit
[01:49] pprrffnnn: physically physically physically fit
[01:49] Acony: mentally unsound

that kinda sums up what is going on with me ehh..

binge

alcoholic binge. mm hmm.

alcohol does wonders, doesn't it?

still some boring stuff... sigh.

streetcar rawks.

when eyes are red, we can't talk for a while..
but i've got sweet nothings to say..
you don't want me anyway..
you don't want me anyway..
so why?
why should i stay..

so goodbye, to you and your life..
your new best friends.. your confidence..
and i'll be here when you get home.

sitting halfway.. away from nowhere..
praying for our lips to touch..
holding myself for a second..
just to catch you smile on this line..


so true?

sigh.

she made me promise to sleep early every night unless there was work to do, or there was soccer.

haha. guess i can't keep promises too well.

anyway, what's the point of doing something when there is no need to prove anything?

new friends.

hmm. i made new friends while playing warcraft. kewl shyt.

one's eVie-, whose name is jamie. she's from the orange county in the states. kewl man. the other's ViCe, whose name is jared. and another Deck. whose name i can't remember. x= they're from the same area i suppose.

and one good thing i've learnt from them is the conversion of pounds to kg, and inches to cm.

1k is like 2.2pounds. while 1inch is like 2.5cm.

maybe you all know la. but i dunno can.

so tell me what am i supposed to be,
another god damned drone?
tell me what am i supposed to be,
should i leave it on the inside?

sighh.

death.

i am fucking afraid of death.

who isn't?

if i were to die a natural death, there would be less to be frightened of. duh.

but imagine someone pointing a knife at your throat, ready to slit it anytime. imagine a bomb counting down in front of your face, yet you're helpless against it. those would be the moments that would freak the shyt outta anyone.

but that would be the literal death, right?

what about the death of emotions; the death of.. us.

still some sad fuck.

i swear the moments before the 'death' was worse than 'death' itself.

who cares?

gratitude - last

here we go again..
beaten, stuck up and spent..
saving for rents on our blood red homes..
cos a dream with no color..
well, why even bother?

and we know that it won't last..
but we force it and force it and..
and the time just proves too much..
and we're wearing down..
wearing down again..

it's okay if you don't show..
but i want you to know you're invited..
it's okay to feel the cold..
but i want you to know that i'm inside..

rraawwrr. emo.

even the best fall down sometimes ..
even the wrong words seem to rhyme ..
.
.
even the best fall down sometimes ..
even the stars refuse to shine ..

some sad stuff. its over and done with. a blessing in disguise? who knows..

sigh.

drinking anyone?

fuck loh

fuck loh...

fuck LOH...

FUCK loh...

FUCK LOH!

'fuck' is like the most common word running in my mind now LOH.

some long time

some long time never update.

old news, but my laptop is in mel now. some thanks to dropping laptop.

and who'd have known that dropping laptops would "corrupt your softwares". tada!

anyway, variety show was kewl. 'roadside' performance was funky as hell! first dance performance, and the practice paid off. w00t. bring'em out, bring'em out!

went to shangrila hotel last night for a buffet. restaurant name was "The Line". heh. pics up soon i suppose. after leong has them on his multiply site. was kinda kewl, yet disappointing. the chocolate fountain wasn't as impressive as expected. but the lobster and mussels were fresh. the 'tissue prata' done by the shangrila chefs was niceeeeee(to see and to eat). yummm.

the only setback is the diet taken by my wallet while i had a fattening dinner. seventy five bucks per head is thankssssssssss.

by the way, i think my fyp is fucked. bah. still haven't recieved the drivers for the rfid card reader. SOME THANKS.

this is what they call "going thru a tough patch"? )=

been sick for a few days now. cough cough *mucus flowing* yeah. you get the idea. it ain't me alone, well. everyone else who's sick, get well soon!

take a breathe, now let it outtttttt

some bored. thanks. i shall go play some gameboy. yes. gameboy is my pasttime lately.

just to make up for the lack of posts.

Green is your Lightsaber's color.

Green is the color of nature. It symbolizes growth,
harmony, and freshness. Green has strong
emotional correspondence with safety. Green is
also commonly associated with wealth and
happiness, so someone with a green lightsaber
like yourself is a fortunate soul.

just to make up for the lack of posts. yawnn..