...

i have this urge to hit something.
or maybe just vent some pent up whatever in me.
because i don't know what i have pent up in me.
i just got a d/c in roc and that's not helping.
some bitch is irritating me, it isn't helping either.
i wanna go out and there's no where to go.

A A R R G G H H H .

fuckkk offffff.

i'm not okayyyy

ahhh. haven't been online last night. modem got kept up again, cos came home late from ric's place. wtf is wrong with people nowadays. anyway, dyed a lil of my hair. damn pissed cos its not finished yet. anyway, thanks ric!
and tai hou angry cos i never wait for her to dye. hahaha! don't angry la k! tau hou rao ming ! xiao yang zi zhi cuo! hahahahaha! i go with you the next time you dye-ing la huh. i still need to 'patch' back.. ahaha.
all the talks about the new main committee is rather discouraging. haha. its understandable that i'm not amongst the favourites la... but damn saddening man. =( nah.. i'll just take it as it comes huh..
but the thought of the behaviour of some people set me thinking.. what would happen if that kinda person gets into the main comm... -shakes head-
enough talk about all these shyt.. i wanna talk about happy stuff.
but there isn't any!

welli'mnotokay,i'mnotofuckingkay.

fuckewwwww.

yyaawwnnn. fcking tired today. went for a swim during the long break i had. and missed MAD. hahaha. hadn't swam for a long long time man... did like 7 laps or something. not so sure tho.
lessons were boring as usual... and the individual interview. sigh. as expected la huh... shall not elaborate... dunno what's my chance of getting in... but well. its over huh.
today is not a day for wc3. won a few solos tho..

i'm tired... haven't been sleeping well... haven't been sleeping much either. gah. i feel so vulnerable... i wanna sleep... and not wake up...

i'm not a perfect person..

lesser and lesser..

wheee. found out that i've been blogging lesser and lesser. thus expect a fat update each time. haha.
lets start with yesterday. another boring day at class as usual. slacked around in cs room from 3-5pm because had a meeting with the twenty "main comm candidates". omg. we have to make two posters for our "campaigning". ernesttttt save meeeee. rofl.
besides that, we have a VERY tight schedule. damn. i really wanna get into the main comm after getting so far. aarrgghhh. HOW! hoho.
after that.. went to eat mcdonald's with the ict people. quite alot of'em. heh. shall not name. i'm lazy. then went to look at dye at guardian. haha. in the end only dawn and me buy dye. chewlin never buy. dunno why also leh!
anyway... expect a new look coming thursday. muaha.
actually going dawn house watch garfield the movie... in the end squid and lornie dua.. then take bus home. slept on the way, missed my stop. what's new anyway? right gayjean? lol!
then the usual.. back home wc3 with marc... lost the first two games got uber pissed. then won the next three games. thanks to some stormy weather aka cyclone for the third win. please tag me for replays ^^;.
gonna be damn busy the coming week.. campaigning.. dye hair.. individual interview.. god i'm gonna so hate that. and i don't even know who my interviewer will be.. please don't let it be you. on the brighter side.. i'm gonna go swimming tomorrow! yay!


long ago
just like the hearse you died to get in again
we are so far from you

burning on just like a match you strike to incinerate
the lives of everyone you knew
and what's the worst you take
from every heart you break
and like the blade you stain
well i'll be holding on tonight

what's the worst that i can say?
things are better if i stay
so long and goodnight
so long and goodnight

came a time
when every star falls brought you to tears again
we are the very hurt you sold
and what's the worst you take
from every heart you break
and like the blade you stain
well I've been holding on tonight

what's the worst that i can say?
things are better if i stay
so long and goodnight
so long and goodnight
and if you carry on this way
things are better if i stay
so long and goodnight
so long and goodnight

can you hear me?
are you near me?
can we pretend to leave and then
we'll meet again
when both our cars collide?

what's the worst that i can say?
things are better if i stay
so long and goodnight
so long and goodnight
and if you carry on this way
things are better if i stay
so long and goodnight
so long and goodnight

my chemical romance - helena.
h h a a i i k k k . . .

peee's houseeee

peee's wireless suckssssssssss. maybe its my position. but damn hard to tap man!
today was kewl. went out with the rest of the yahoo people for movie. I, Robot! not a bad movie. been a long time since my last movie. i think. i dunno.. haha.
we walked around abit before dinner. we saw siew mai !!! and da pao !!! hahaha! you know who you are. =p we went to marche for dinner. haha! not a bad dinner, heh.
after that lazed around... walked around abit... the rest went off... only left me, anthony, deline and jessie.
walked all the way to esplanade and sat there for like 4-5 hours or something like that. bought some drinks beforehand. heh. talked alot of shit, alot of stuffs. ric joined us at like 11+. then we left for home at around 1.30.
AND HERE I AM.

late..

i'm late... yet i find the time to blog. haha.
haven't updated for one or two days? i dunno. decided to move sasuke down a lil.. heh.
went out with marc, cw, ben last night. met kevin, "t4mm4n" from wc3:roc US West. he's from hongkong who went to canada to study and is now in singapore for holidays. apparently marc got to know him thru some solo games.. haha. blardie rich kid. lives in Novotel [Apollo] and drives around in canada, or so i heard. paid for dinner, but we paid for pool instead. hahaha. pretty kewl to meet people from other countries. heh.
gonna go out liaooooo. goodbyeeeee.

so long and good night..

sasuke!

Which Naruto Character are You?

supposed to be asleep..

hurr... supposed to be asleep. but yeah..
today was kinda okay. went to zhiwei's place after school for pizza. then sent him to pasir ris before he left for tekong. hahaha. gonna be a long time before he comes back man.
and cynwell taught me some basic card "trick". not exactly very entertaining. so i go and bluff my primary two cousin! muahaha. who wanna let me bluff next? ^^
dawn gave me a name "xiao yang zi". i don't like. HAHA.
more and more roc. beat some gosus and lost a game but i'm happy. haha.
somebody is pretty excited due to something happening on saturday night and i'd bet that that somebody would strangle the life outta me if i ever disclosed what it was. =D you know who you are. hoho.
this is to my dearest gay: no shit is uncleanable! come on man cheer upppppp~ there are always gays around such as me to clean your shit with you. heh.
not that my life is perfect and wonderful.. oh well...

this is the first, thing i remember,
now its the last, thing left on my mind.
afraid of the dark, do you hear me whisper?
an empty heart, replaced with paranoia.
where do we go? life's temporary..
after we're gone, like new year's resolutions..
why is this hard? do you recognise me?
i know i'm wrong, but i can't help believing...

i'm so lost.
i'm barely here.
i wish i could explain myself,
but words escape me.
it's too late.
to save me.
you're too late..
you're too late..

you're cold with disappointment,
while i'm drowning in the next room.
the last contagious victim of this plague between us.
i'm sick with apprehension,
i'm crippled from exhaustion.
and i dread the moment when you finally come to kill me.

another day..

kewl. no losses in wc3 today. played tft with the ict guys today also. haha. i'm on a streaaaaaaak.
currently helping beng sell bikinis. women please step forward if you wanna buy bikinis. hahaha.
the interview went... i dunno? quite okay i guess. wonder what i'll get huh.. haha.
gonna have nf wiring shyt tomorrow. i read thru all the lectures and still i dunno what's going on. hoho.
gonna do my MAD stuff. three weeks of programming is gay. gah.

vindicated, i am selfish, i am wrong.
i am right, i swear i'm right.
swear i knew it all alone.

its gonna be another boring day...

schoooooool.

boring. no vb.net. can't do practical. surfing webbies looking for pics to change. the one on my blog is olddddd.
<-- btw updated those shyt there. brb.

yawnnn.

its back to late nights with the laptop. haha. kinda kewl man.
watched king arthur yesterday. kinda kewl imo. but many people found it boring. maybe cos i haven't been watching movies lately and any movie appeals to me. but you seldom see medievil movies a la lord of the rings often. or do you? i don't know. but its just kinda nice. heh.
nothing real happening today. i think. haha..

let's see... how long i can keep this..

gonna have a group interview for ict society tomorrow! i kinda have a mixed feeling about getting in main comm or not. but i think i wanna! haha! wish me luck man!

tiredd...

mo. fo. ing. ly. tired. dude.
took cab last night. eight bucks.
took cab to granddad's place. five bucks.
took cab home. nine bucks.
hurhur.
soccer was kinda kewl. as usual. scored some goals. was damn tired tho.
haik. i wanna forget it all.
life begins. now.

dream...

i dreamt of you.
you told me your life was great.
about your past relationships.
about them falling apart.
just for new ones to take over.
about names i haven't heard before.
but nothing.
about us.
we just sat there, talking.
with nothing on the tv screen. 
your eyes, your face.
so close, yet so far away.
then you said it.
and you left.
i cried.
i awoke.
and it felt like i wanted to cry somemore.
 
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME.
why can i remember this dream so well.
is it because.
you have actually disappeared.
and.
i miss you.
i'm already late for school.
but i don't think i care.
and i guess.
you're probably right.
because.
what is lost.
can never be found.
again.
ever.

at home.

I'M HOME. I'M ONLINE. SHUANG.
BUT FUCKING SIAN. COME BACK KANA KPKB. WIN TOTO ALSO NOT HAPPY.
MIGHT AS WELL DON'T COME HOME.

bazaar

damn bored man. now at the bazaar. skipped the entire day's worth of class. this means the 3rd week in succession that i'm missing MOS. muaha.
spent my entire afternoon doing balloon art. thanks man cynwell! haha!
failed like 10+ times before coming up with a half decent balloon. lol. this means many wasted balloons and now my hands hurt. gah. lotsa twisting and turning man.
anyway. BRB.

laptop !

say HELLO to my lappie!
my motherboard got changed. muaha.

boring.

wah. these few days damn boring. but i still damn lazy to update. because there's nothing much to update about. doh. gonna go sleep soon. yawnn.
btw sorry ict people. i lazy to get out of house today. ^^;

there's a silent urge to leave this cloud and all i want is to hear the sound, of your voice, devoid of the constant noise, the only sound to fill this void.

ict party!

I C T P A R T Y R A W K K K K K S S S S S S S S ! ! !

muahahahaha.

fuckedup

fuckingbitchesnaggingalldayallnightlongkindlystepoutandfuckoff

fuck, i can't let this kill me, let go.

home

lazy to blog... nothing much to say anyway.
one hour late for school today. doesn't really matter. attendance still marked. haha.
then helped siti with 2nd hand textbook sale. ict party meeting! bet its gonna be fun! heh. then had a lil bazaar meeting. nothing much. then came back home. boring!
gonna play some shiat now.
in totally unrelated news, the society is sCandalous! =P

boring..

boring in school today... lectures were okay... at least i understand. lol.
ict society becoming more and more no meaning... got siew mai story... jungle story... all spastic ones. hahaha.
played loadsa warcraft. again. got lamed by steamtanks. went to possess some peons and teched to wyverns when i'm UD. got a level 9/8/7 DK Lich DL. eventful eh? hahaha. as if i have better things to do... hhaaiikkk. so sad!
in totally unrelated news, my sister has linkin park songs on this comp. like wtf?

memories consume
like opening the wound
i'm picking me apart again
you all assume
i'm safe here in my room
unless i try to start again

i don't want to be the one
the battles always choose
cos inside i realize
that i'm the one confused

i don't know what's worth fighting for
or why i have to scream
i don't know why i instigate
and say what i don't mean
i don't know how i got this way
i know it's not alright
so i'm breaking the habit
i'm breaking the habit tonight

clutching my cure
i tightly lock the door
itry to catch my breath again
i hurt much more
than anytime before
i had no options left again

i dont want to be the one
the battles always choose
cos inside i realize
that i'm the one confused

i'll paint it on the walls
cos i'm the one at fault
i'll never fight again
and this is how it ends

i don't know what's worth fighting for
or why i have to scream
but now i have some clarity
to show you what i mean
i don't know how i got this way
i'll never be alright
so, i'm breaking the habit
i'm breaking the habit
i'm breaking the habit
tonight

3do camp!

whoaaa. damnnnn tiring. and i got myself a new sexy voice. but was fun. heh. three cheers for 3do!
and..! yahoo got first! MY yahoo! in case you retards out there are wondering, yahoo = my orientation group. muahaha. everyone in the group deserves a mention. deline was my fellow OGL. zhebin, anthony, renhao, mike, jessie, catherine and sheena! hoho. first time i can remember so many names properly. wondered how we got first despite losing all six telematch stations, but the end is all i care huh! lol.
the cheers were kinda kewl. i missed out on the OL cheer, damn. and we adopted two from "sunwukong" tunes. rather original i guess. heh.
and good thing we have renhao, cos he's a scout! muaha. pitch tent and stuff like that is no problem. haha. i didn't sleep in tents tho. monorail stations r0x! you get to sleep with peacocks and roosters waking you up at 5am. hahaha! didn't get much sleep anyway... average 4-5 hours? anthony got so pissed with the roosters that he went around with a pole and chasing the roosters with some GLs. hahaha. i heard them somehow, didn't join them but i bet it was fun.
and we ended the camp with the "yahoo tradition". we buried our team flag together with the past year ones. so there are like three flags together now. tho the oldest is like rotting... lol. tonnes of traditions in this 3do man. even 3do itself is a tradition! hah!
lazy to add in more details. going out soon. bye byeee.
one last thing, thanks to all GMs, logistics, planning comm, whoever for making the camp a great success! well done!

here's your letter..

lazy to blog.. so..
here's your letter..

cut the skin to the bone,
fall asleep all alone,
hear your voice in the dark.
lose myself in your eyes,
choke my voice, say goodnight,
as the world falls apart.

fuck, i can't let this kill me, let go!
i need some more time to fix this..

here's a letter for you,
but the words get confused,
and the conversation dies.
apologize for the past,
talk some shit, take it back.
are we cursed to this life?

fuck, i can't let this kill me, let go!
i need some more time to fix this problem..
i need some more time to fix this problem..
i need some more time to fix this..

i'm talking to the ceiling.
my life just lost all meaning.
do one thing for me tonight.
i'm dying in this silence.

the last star left in heaven,
is falling down to earth and,
do you still feel the same way?
do you still feel the same way?

to school

hoho. missed another lesson today. gonna go to school now to sign attendance. -_-;
then gotta wait till like 6pm before going to fix my laptop. been a month or two eh... haha.

in totally unrelated news, the warcraft ladder is reset! i'm now rank 80+ with level 5. rofl. no time to play.. =\ in fact, i'm too lazy for anything.